I had my ultrasound on Monday morning, bright and early so Chris wouldn't be late for work (which he was anyway). Before I tell you about it, let me tell you about Dutch's ultrasound, something I've never blogged about.
When I got pregnant with Dutch I KNEW that my baby was little Ivy Mae and she was going to be a red-head and the cutest little thing on the planet. I planned out her nursery (black, red, and white with Olivia accessories), I started thinking about all of the cute clothes I would buy her, and the great books we would read together. Chris luckily prevented me from buying anything that wasn't gender neutral, otherwise I would have had a lot of girl clothes I could never use!
When we got to the dark room where they were going to do the ultrasound the tech asked if I wanted to know the gender. "Yes," I said, "but it's a girl." She then proceeded to do the exam. As I saw her looking at the baby from all different angles I said, "Is that what I think it is?" Yup, it was a boy.
I cried. Just one little tear while we were in the room, but I was devastated. (Just as a funny side-note, when we left the building I saw a sign for Weiner Real Estate, which is probably pronounced "whiner," but it made me bawl.)
Of course I got over it and love my Dutchie so much I can't imagine life without him. But I still really want a girl. With this pregnancy I was cautiously hopeful that it was my little Scout Rowe. Chris has been worried that I would be disappointed if it was another boy. The night before the ultrasound I had an overpowering feeling that it was a boy. I cried again.
The ultrasound confirmed that it's another boy. I tried so hard not to feel bad, because I feel guilty for feeling bad. My baby boy is healthy and perfect and there are people who have always wanted a boy who will never get one. I can't help it though, I want a baby girl.
Pretty soon I'll accept the fact that it's a boy and start getting excited. Just give me a few days.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I love you. I feel like it is my fault because I had the girl that should have been yours this time. It is okay to feel bad. You have 4+ months to get excited after that.
I understand how you feel! I was really, really upset when I got pregnant after Noah. Then I miscarried and felt even worse. Don't feel bad - you will love him very, very much when he arrives! I love you!
It is ok to feel bad. I was a mess with Evie. I wanted her to be a boy for Brandon because I thought is what he wanted. BUT I also wanted her to be a girl for me. At the time I didn't think I could handle a boy so I was relieved when I found out she was a girl. BUT I also felt bad that Brandon was disappointed (briefly) that it was another girl. Of course we had 4 months to get ready for another girl and for both of us to be excited for her her arrival.
I think the timing on ultrasounds is perfect as it gives you time to adjust to what you are having.
Post a Comment